Beside you in a storm (Than safe and warm by myself)
by Romanticly tragic perfection
Summary: It was times like this that Lucas wished, not for the first time, that he'd decided to play guitar instead of write books.


**Summary: It was times like this that Lucas wished, not for the first time, that he'd decided to play guitar instead of write books.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own one tree hill. If I did Brucas would have been endgame and Peyton would have ended up with Jake.**

* * *

" _There's always another storm. It's the way the world works. Snowstorms, rainstorms, windstorms, sandstorms, and firestorms. Some are fierce and others are small. You have to deal with each one separately, but you need to keep an eye on what's brewing for tomorrow."_

― _Maria V. Snyder, Fire Study_

* * *

Lucas blinked blearily up at the ceiling, not sure what had woken him. Not hearing anything else after a moment, he closed his eyes and rolled over to wrap his arms around the woman beside him.

His searching arm found nothing but empty sheets on the other side of the bed and it took his mind a moment to catch on that he was alone.

To his credit, Lucas didn't panic. He just fell back down on the pillows, mouth open in a silent groan.

She... She had acting a bit weird lately. At first it didn't seem like anything out of the usual, she'd seemed…distracted. There were moments where he'd find her staring into space or catch her watching him, out of the corner of his eye, when she thought he wasn't looking. Her face would be unreadable, her fingers twitching every now and then. This happened most when Lucas started writing. But whenever he asked her if something was wrong she'd give him a strained but affectionate smile.

"I'm fine, Luke," then she'd laugh and kiss him before leaving the room.

And there were long moments of silence, and not the comfortable silence of two people who are so comfortable in each other's presence that words aren't needed. It was a tense silence, like the calm before the storm. He knew he should try to fill those silences with word of love and comfort but he could never bring himself to be the first to break them. Instead, he'd pretend to read or focus on his writing and eventually she'd say something that would make him sigh in relief.

He loved his wife and her bubbly personality. She was the sun to his moon. The cheery to his broody. The orange to his blue. She was his other half and he didn't feel…whole if she wasn't with him

He got out of bed, calling her name.

He found her alone in the kitchen, sitting in the dark with only the light from a lamp giving her an almost angelic glow around her wearing her silk pink robe with a glass of wine and his book sitting in front of her.

He was about to call out to her when she sighed.

"Suddenly, it was as if the roar of the crowd, the echo of the final buzzer, the cheers of my teammates were all sounding from a thousand miles away. And what remained in that bizarre, muffled silence was only Peyton, the girl whose art and passion and beauty had changed my life," she read aloud and he flinched.

"At that moment, my triumph was not a state championship, but simple clarity. The realization that we had always been meant for each other and every instinct to the contrary had simply been a denial of the following truth," she paused and took a long sip of wine.

They both knew the last line by heart and even if she didn't say it aloud he could hear it loud and clear almost as if she were whispering it in his ear.

 _I was now, and would always be, in love with Peyton Sawyer._

He watched her for a few minutes as she finished off her glass and poured another knowing that he should reveal himself and assure her that he loved her. That what he had with Peyton had been an infatuation that he and most of the town had mistakenly thought was an epic love.

He should tell her that of course he'd been consumed more with the idea of the blonde, her tragic story and the allure of her sadness. Because she was like his twin and they had both been gloomy teens that hadn't seen what they had in front of them. They'd both been so lost in the idea of what they could be that they didn't realize what they were…boring.

He should tell her the truth. That he didn't want Peyton and their comfortable familiarity.

He wanted passion and excitement.

He wanted vibrant and cheery.

He wanted crazy and vulnerable.

He wanted red instead of gray.

He wanted brunette instead of blonde.

He wanted Brooke more than he'd ever wanted any other girl.

Instead, he turned and went back to bed and lays awake staring at the ceiling until she comes back slipping soundlessly into his side.

He waits until her breathing is soft and even before wrapping his arms around her stomach and resting his head on top of hers. He brushed her hair out of her face with his fingers, and runs his hand over her silky nightgown, the one he'd brought her for their wedding anniversary last year and whispers his love in her ear while she sleeps.

He wakes before her the next morning, and takes a moment to appreciate her heartbreaking beauty before he untangles himself from her and goes for his morning run.

When he comes back, she's made breakfast his favorite: French toast and eggs sunny side up. His coffee is just the way he likes it (black, 3 sugars) and she's talking to Millicent on the phone about a new fashion line for Senior

"Because old ladies want to look good to," she says when he asks her about it.

He plants a kiss on her cheek and thinks maybe things will be okay.

But then three days later, he wakes to an empty bed and knows that maybe they have a problem.

He finds her in the kitchen with another one of his books The Comet this time.

He's not sure whether that's a good sign or a bad one.

"It was a comet. The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning. And when it went away, he waited his entire life for it to come back to him. It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life: direction, beauty, and meaning. There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them." She read aloud a glass of red wine in her hand instead of white.

"But even in his darkest hours, he knew in his heart that someday it would return to him, and his world would be whole again... And his belief in God and love and art would be re-awakened in his heart." She finished and he wanted to rip the book out of her hands and throw it across the room.

She didn't get it.

No one understood.

His comet wasn't Peyton.

It had never been Peyton.

His comet was _her!_

 _There are many who couldn't understand, and sometimes he walked among them_

Again, he said nothing and everything went back to normal. She makes breakfast, he makes dinner. They set the table together, brushing against each other and sit side by side instead of across from one another. Lucas thought maybe things were getting better.

But it wasn't better. There were moments when something stirred in her; sometimes something he said or something she saw on television would make her tear up. In these moments she would might retreat to their bedroom and lock the door. The tense silences start to happen more frequently but the late-night trips to the kitchen seem to have stopped. Lucas is almost finished with his third book and she is working on her new senior line.

She tells him a little about it while they eat but changes the subject whenever he mentions his book. Lucas doesn't try to force her to listen, eating quietly, as he waits for her to relax again. They do the dishes side by side and cuddle on the couch watching weird science on DVD before they go to bed.

When they get in bed they hold each other tightly as if they could hold keep the storm at bay and when he woke up in the morning he'd untangle himself and run.

(Run….Run…Run…Run until the storm couldn't catch him)

He tried his best to avoid Peyton since he knew that she was part of the problem but sometimes she'd call to ask about the book or she'd come over to chat. He didn't want to be rude so he'd talk for a few minutes before getting off the phone or leaving the house as soon he could but during those moments He'd feel Brooke watching him and out of the corner his eyes her expression would be thunderous.

He wanted to assure her that nothing was going on between him and Peyton but his words had never done anything to sooth her fears before and they would probably do little good now…so he said nothing.

The book was finished.

He handed her the manuscript and asked her to read it.

She grew tense and tried to play it off with a laugh; claiming to be too busy.

"I'll read it to you then," he said, not letting go this time.

She had to read it.

She cautiously took the pages from him and promised that she'd read it later.

But later turned into a week…then to two…then a month.

"Brooke, please," he said and she looked at him with sad, resigned eyes.

"I'll read it," she said.

He woke alone again for the first time in 3 months.

He found her sitting at the island in the kitchen glass of wine in her hand and his book on the table.

He watched as she struggled to read it, putting it down every few pages, looking lost.

He almost turned and went back to bed.

Instead, he came out from the shadows and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Her fragile beauty and vibrant soul made his heart beat faster and his hands shake afraid that the slightest touch would shatter his angel to pieces," he read aloud and she looked up at him stunned.

"Lucas, what are you-?" she started but he silenced her with the press of his lips against hers.

When he kisses her, her eyes fall closed, and she kisses him back with everything she has.

He knows in her mind it's a goodbye kiss.

"I love you," he says and goes back to reading to her.

Because he's not going to make the same mistake again.

"He wanted to speak words of passion and of eternal love but held his tongue out of fear of the coming storm. His angel might fly away at any moment and he wanted to hold onto her as long as he could…" he continued.

He read all through the night, making sure she listened, praying she would understand.

"And as they stood at the edge, he pleaded with her to jump into his arms. To trust that he would be there to catch her just like he'd promised all those years ago. She hesitated, no doubt remembering all the times he'd let her fall, and he knew that if he didn't do something the rainstorm would catch them. 'Jump' he cried and she soared over the edge landing safely in his grasp. He always knew that his love would help her fly…she just needed to believe it too." Lucas finished.

He looked at Brooke, waiting for her to say something.

"I don't understand," she said, and he smiled.

"The book is about a boy and his angel trying to escape the storm because if the angel's wings got wet they wouldn't be able to fly," he placed his hand on her chin and looked deeply in her eyes.

"I love you, Brooke. I don't want to walk on eggshells afraid to face the storm. I want to be by your side always and I want you to feel safe with me. I'm not going to hurt you again Brooke. I'm not going to weigh down your wings. I'm going to love you now and forever until the day I die…maybe even longer than that." He declared and a tear fell down her cheek.

"But all your books have been about your subconscious longing to be with Peyton. So, I thought when you started writing again that maybe you realized you made a mistake choosing me," she confessed and Lucas wished, not for the first time, that he'd decided to play guitar instead of write books.

"My first book was not about my subconscious longing for Peyton. There were two girls in that book and one of the girl, you might know her, her name's Brooke Davis and I am completely in love her." He said.

"But your moment of clarity-" Brooke started.

"Was added by Lindsey who was in love with the idea of Lucas and Peyton much like everyone else in this town was…but that's all it was…an idea," he said.

"What you and I had…no what you and I _have_ …that's real. That's the epic love story that no one could see but me," he stated and Brooke looked conflicted.

"But the comet-" she protested.

"Was you. It should have been obvious but everyone got caught in Peyton's car that no one saw the truth." He pulled out a copy of unkindness of ravens from behind his back.

"This is an unedited copy that I kept for myself. A few passages have been highlighted but once you read it everything will make sense," he gave her the book and kissed her on the cheek leaving her to finally see what had been kept from her all this time.

* * *

 **"The boy saw a comet.**

 _"I think you got the wrong car."_

 **The boy saw the comet and he felt as though his life had meaning.**

 _"I mean, how many moments in life can you point to and say, that's when it all changed? You just had one."_

 **And when it went away,**

" _I'm sorry, Lucas…I can't do this anymore,"_

" _Brooke, I'm sorry,"_

" _Me too,"_

 **He waited his entire life for it to come back to him.**

 _"I keep that stuff as a reminder of how badly I screwed up things with you. To remind myself, if I ever get a second chance, I'd never let you go again."_

 **It was more than just a comet because of what it brought to his life:**

 _"You know I kind of enjoy the fact that we're different."_

 **Direction,**

" _But one of these nights you're going to realize it. I'm the guy for you Brooke Davis."_

 **Beauty,**

 _"That's how I always see you Brooke. I think it's kind of beautiful"._

 **Meaning,**

 _"I barely even knew her last year, and now I can't imagine life without her."_

 **There are many who couldn't understand,**

 _"Unlike Brooke, who I understand is nice and easy?"_

 _"Brooke Davis?" Faith looked at him incredulously. "Lucas she is horrible."_

 **And sometimes he walked among them.**

 _I missed you so much when you broke up with me, Brooke. I mean, I spent every day hoping that maybe we'd get back together. But listening to Whitey describe his life with Camilla, - I just realized-"_

" _He wasn't describing us….Do you think that even exists anymore?"_

" _What?"_

" _A love so strong that no person can come between it."_

" _I sure hope so."_

" _Yeah."_

" _I guess we'll just have to wait and see."_

 **But even in his darkest hours,**

 _"Lucas is it true? Do you have HCM?"_

 _"Lucas, it's okay. I'm here for you."_

 _"If you need to do this alone I understand but if you need me, I'm here."_

 **He knew in his heart that someday it would return to him,**

 _"God, it is good to see you Brooke."_

 **And his world would be whole again...**

 _"It won't matter where we are, as long as we're together."_

 **And his belief in God and love and art,**

 _"I love you Lucas Scott, you know that?"_

 _"I love you too Brooke Davis."_

 **Would be re-awakened in his heart."**

* * *

 **Author's note: Just had this idea in my head. The Comet/Brucas moments is not mine it's from Eyes wide shut chapter 12. If you haven't read that story then you're crazy. Please review and let me know your thoughts.**


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